Willie's Off-Brand Web Journal: October 17-November 3, 2004

Saturday, October 30, 2004:

You'll be hearing all about Bev's visit later in the week, but I thought I'd mention this little tidbit now: in the middle of the night last night, she started making these ungodly moaning noises in her sleep. I nudged her awake and asked if everything was okay, and she muttered that it was before falling asleep again. This morning, she told me that she'd actually been dreaming that she'd entered a contest to see who could make the best Strong Bad Halloween sounds, so that's where the noises came from. Heh.

In other news, you may find this interesting reading. Parody website www.georgewbush.org (run by the same folks who run the hilarious www.whitehouse.org) started receiving a bunch of e-mails that were actually intended to be sent to addresses at www.georgewbush.COM, which is Dubya's real re-"election" site. So they've posted 'em all. And some of them are pretty sick.

And I mean "sick" in the sense of "unsettling"; not in the sense of "awesome," the way T-Bone has taken to using the word (e.g., "The U of M hockey team is gonna be sick this year, we've got so much depth!").

Oh, and also? A NASA photo analyst has confirmed that Bush's mystery bulge during the debates was some sort of electronic device. There are some pretty cool photo enhancements in that article. It's a nice illustration- as if we needed another- of the dishonesty and willingness to cheat that the Bush administration embodies, but scarier still is the fact that even with an evil Cyrano figure whispering into his ear, Bush still couldn't hide the fact that he has no clue what's going on around him and that he's incapable of thinking logically or forming an articulate thought. So let's all please remember to go vote for Kerry on Tuesday, eh?

Finally, here's something that Mark posted on Music Babble yesterday that I thought was very well-put, so I'm going to quote it here: "Isn't it unbelievably telling that the Democrats are trying desperately to get voters registered and the Republicans are trying desperately to find reasons to PREVENT 'questionable' voters from voting? What it means is simple: The Republican Party does NOT represent the majority of Americans, and they know it. They know that the gap between rich and poor is getting wider by the day, they want to KEEP it that way, and the only way to do so is to prevent the 'failures' of society from voting. If every person in this country actually voted, Bush and his gang of rich fucks would be thrown out on their asses with no problem. Obvious, I know. But important."

CURRENT MUSIC: The sounds of construction workers doing something to the roof of my apartment building. So does that mean that I'm listening to a de facto Einsturzende Neubauten album?
CURRENT MOOD: Scared to death about the election, but otherwise content.
INSCRIPTION AT THE BOTTOM OF AN AWESOME TIN PLATE PAINTING THAT BEV'S SISTER, AUD, SENT ME FROM MEXICO: "Doy las gracias a dios nuestro senor por aver sanada de la fuerte diarrea que me dio al llevarme un susto muy feo cuando vi en el cielo una cosa que volana por el cielo y era hijo que janias avia yo visto dicen que era un ovni pero a nu me dio mucho niedo." Can anyone translate this for me? It's a beautiful painting of a guy in the desert, praying, with God looking down at him. It was painted by Jaonto Juarez, and it's dated July 19, 1959.
TIME: 10:47 AM.

Doot? | |

Monday, October 18, 2004:

About a year ago in this journal, I asked if anyone knew the difference between "placed" and "thrown" olives, and this morning, a generous person named Eileen Invoice sent me a link to a story on an NBC affiliate's website that answers my question. Of course, the answer raises the far thornier questions of what sort of miserable person would care whether the olives they purchase are all facing outward or not, how the placed olive packagers combat olive rotation during shipping, whether those obsessive customers make an effort to manually reset all the olives every time they remove one from the jar, what the turnover rate is for a staff of olive placers...

And I really like this meme so I'm going to include it here. The idea is to pick a musician or band and answer all the following questions using that artist's song titles. I choose Of Montreal.

Are you male or female?: "Tim I Wish You Were Born a Girl"
How old are you?: "Kid Without Claws"
Describe yourself: "The Hopeless Opus"
How do some people feel about you?: "There is Nothing Wrong with Hating Rock Critics"
How do you feel about yourself?: "Dustin Hoffman Scrubs Too Hard and Loses Soap"
Describe your ex: "My, What a Strange Day with a Swede!"
Describe your views on your significant other or crush: "A Dreamy Day of Daydreaming of You"
Describe what you want: "Lysergic Bliss"
Describe how you live: "My Friend Will be Me"
Describe how you love: "The Couple in Bed Together Under a Warm Blanket Wrapped Up in Each Other's Arms Asleep"
Share a few words of wisdom: If He is Protecting Our Nation, Then Who Will Protect Big Oil, Our Children?

CURRENT MUSIC: Deltron 3030 by Deltron 3030.
CURRENT MOOD: Fine just fine.
CURRENT SHAME: I just heard a horribly, horribly inappropriate euphemism for defecation that's so awful that I can't even bring myself to post it here, but it nonetheless cracked me up. (I'll probably tell you privately.)
TIME: 6:13 PM.

Doot? | |

Sunday, October 17, 2004:

This morning, I hit the record show that Lisa told me about, and spent way too much money. Some of which I now regret. (Specifically, I regret buying a copy of Laika's Silver Apples of the Moon, which I already owned, because I hadn't been paying close enough attention to what I was picking up. Thought I was getting a different Laika album. So guess whose girlfriend is going to be getting a copy of Laika's Silver Apples of the Moon when she comes to visit!) But mostly, I got lots of good deals. I'm particularly proud of having found a cheap copy of the No Thanks! The '70s Punk Rebellion box set. And also, the guys who sold me the aforementioned punk box were the spitting image of Maury Chaykin and Eddie Deezen in WarGames, which was fabulously entertaining. ("I can't believe I'm going to have to be standing next to you the whole day!" "The feeling is mutual there, my friend." "You're wearing an orange shirt! Why did you have to wear an orange shirt? Isn't that the shirt that made my mom slap you?")

Last night, I watched Touching the Void on Bev's recommendation, and it's really quite outstanding. Most of the film consists of re-enactments of the ordeal of two mountaineers who were embroiled in less-than-ideal mountaineering circumstances in Peru, but rather than being cheapo, Real Stories of the Highway Patrol-esque re-enactments, they're very artfully done. Not only were they filmed on actual mountains in what are apparently actual blistering conditions, but director Kevin MacDonald (not to be confused with Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall) borrows techniques from Saving Private Ryan, Requiem for a Dream, and other cinematographically innovative features to bring an engaging, bizarre urgency to the narrative. Totally worth checking out, if you get a chance.

In the mail, I received an envelope with no return address, and it contained a page that was torn out of a magazine, with no explanation. One side was an advertisement for fancypants bath products, and the other side was a Maytag ad that showcased some really cool stainless steel appliances. I'm sort of guessing it's from Erica, because she's awesome and weird that way, but part of me hopes that it's just the first in a mysterious series of anonymous envelopes I'll be receiving. I'll keep you posted.

CURRENT MUSIC: I Hope You're Sitting Down by Lambchop.
CURRENT MOOD: Headache.
BENEFIT OF CLEANING UP THIS DUMP YESTERDAY: In addition to no longer living in squalid squalor, I found $20! Which can buy many peanuts!
TIME: 8:39 PM.

Doot? | |

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