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Willie's Off-Brand Web Journal: December 16-December 22, 2004

Sunday, December 19, 2004:

Funny exchange from Babble:

Norville Barnes: "If only everybody in the world played paintball..." [Herein, he posts a horrifically wrongheaded and hilarious post-Columbine editorial from The Splatter Times, a magazine for paintball enthusiasts.]
Me: "I never before realized how lucky we are that The Splatter Times holds so little sway with our government."
Norville Barnes: "Obviously you're unaware of the powerful painball lobby that bullied the Bush administration into going into Iraq."
Me: "I know that was a typo, but wouldn't it be cool if Bush just inexplicably blamed it all on 'the painballs'?"
Norville Barnes: "I think that'd explain a good bit of his policies, actually."

CURRENT MUSIC: Actual Sounds & Voices by Meat Beat Manifesto.
Fed up with holiday cheer.
My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss is apparently on indefinite hiatus, despite being one of the funniest things on television. That's just great.
7:11 PM.

Doot? | |

Thursday, December 16, 2004:

I got an envelope today that is apparently intended for a former resident of my apartment. Let's see what's inside!

[Willie rips envelope, dramatically puffs it open like The Great Carnac.]

Lessee here... On one side, there's a holiday portrait of a generic white couple in their early thirties and a cheerful baby of indeterminate gender who I will admit to finding cute (even despite its unfortunate floral jumpsuit), but that still doesn't mean I want one.

On the other side, in a woman's handwriting: "Andrea- Greetings! How've you been? Enjoying married life? I sure hope so [Here there are two exclamation points whose bottom dots are used as eyes for a smiley face. That gets on my nerves.] How's work going? Anything new & exciting in your life the past year? I hope this card finds you both happy & healthy....

"We've had a busy year here. Todd had back surgery in July & is doing well. We're still looking to relocate closer to our families, down-state; unfortunately, the jobs are a tough sell right now. We're still optimistic that something will come up, even though we will greatly miss Traverse City [Here there are two exclamation points whose bottom dots are used as eyes for a frowny face. Is it a good sign for the art of correspondence that emoticons have spilled over into holiday cards?] Taylor is doing wonderful... almost walking & definately [sic] talking alot [sic] more! Very scary! We'd love to get together with you soon! Keep in touch.... Love, Stef [Smiley face.]"

Meh. I've read better.

CURRENT MUSIC: Two Way Monologue by Sondre Lerche.
Psyched for three hours of The Apprentice!
CURRENT FAVORITE MATHEMATICAL REVIEWS REVIEWER NAME: Herman Midelfart, which Sharon shared with me today. I'm still partial to H. P. Dikshit, because I think it'd be great to use that as my punk rock pseudonym someday, but Midelfart's name just has such a wonderful ring to it.
7:26 PM.

Doot? | |

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