Disclaimer HomeDisclaimer Music Review ArchiveThe Airbag's Lipstick KissLyricsWillie's Off-Brand Web JournalPressFrequently Asked Qs. Get As!Desiccant Records: Do Not Eat!

Willie's Off-Brand Web Journal: December 8, 2005, January 17, 2006

Saturday, December 17, 2005:

I came across the lyrics to a song called "Straw Man" that I abandoned during Airbag's recording process because I couldn't manage to finish it (and also because it wouldn't have fit the album's theme of unsuccored bitterness). I figured I might as well share 'em. They're inspired by the same nightmare that inspired Airbag's cover painting which I commissioned from Jon Chambers, in which I was a scarecrow in an abandoned field, all alone except for a family of crows that had built a nest in my torso. See if you can spot the point at which I completely abandon any pretense of inspiration!

"Straw Man"

I'm the obsolete cornfield crucifix
And there's nothing left in my chest
My once-imposing frame has warped
I'm just a captive host for a nest

Dignity drained and diesel-dulled
Assembled and forgotten
I proudly worked to broker peace
But the years have left me rotten

And I can't cover my ears against the insolent mocking
'Cause the mocking comes from inside me
My heart's been cut out to make room for the squawking
And my eyes were lost to DDT
Heckle and Jeckle's carcasses
Picked clean by machinery
I want to escape my bones
A straw man is a fallacy

Nails and wire, caulk, glue, and twine
Preventing even death throes
Winged parasites' eggs are hatching now
My guts kept them warm while I froze
Some kids hid a dimebag in my butt

CURRENT MUSIC: Negative Capability... Check It Out! by The Urinals.
Kind of giggly, after having just watched Shaun of the Dead. Certainly a better mood than that which followed watching Head last night. Piece of crap, that.
Peter Travers, Rolling Stone. (Writers for "Wireless Networks" don't count, as I suspect they're about as real as David Manning.)
5:35 PM.

Doot? | |

Friday, December 8, 2005:

[The bulk of this post has been removed because I know people who would take extreme offense to it, and I do not wish to upset them if they should stumble upon it. --Willie]

I've been temping at the Eastern Agency on Aging for the past couple weeks, and have been enjoying not only the work, but the conversation of my fellow workers. Today, Kelly, a really cool woman whose desk is right outside the room in which I work, called out to me, "Hey- have you ever heard of the Northwest Tree Octopus?"

ME: The what?
KELLY: It's an octopus that lives in a tree! I guess they live in the rainforest.
ME: An actual octopus?
KELLY: Yeah! My precocious little five-year-old son has become obsessed with octopi lately, and last night, he printed off a bunch of stuff from the Internet about them- all the different varieties. In fact, he asked me which octopus breed was my favorite, and I was just like, "Umm... I like them all!" and he said, "Mom, please don't tell me you like the Blue Ring Octopus, because those eat people." But anyway, he showed me this stuff about the Northwest Tree Octopus, and he asked if we could donate money to save them, because they're endangered, and he wants to go see them.
ME: Seriously?
[I neglect my work to do a quick Google search]
ME: Yeah, here they are! Wow! How cute! I want to help save them! That's so cool!
KELLY: Yeah, isn't that weird? The things you can learn from a five-year-old...
ME: So cute!
KELLY: I guess they live only in- whaddaya call it?- "temperate" rainforests?
ME: Yup, that's what it says.
ME: Huh?
JASON: Read "Why they're endangered."
ME: [muttering as I scan the page] "Endangered species... its natural predators are the bald eagle and... 'the sasquatch'"?
ME: Oh. [embarrassed pause] Alright, they got me.
[KELLY and I giggle hysterically and are red-faced for the rest of the day.]

So it turns out I'm stupider than most.

CURRENT MUSIC: 10 Mistakes by Gruppo Sportivo and Buddy Odor is a Gas by Buddy Odor (a Gruppo Sportivo side project).
Peter Tork.
8:39 PM.

Doot? | |

PAST JOURNAL ENTRIES: May 3, 2003-May 9, 2003. May 10, 2003-May 16, 2003. May 17-May 24, 2003. May 25-May 31, 2003. June 1-June 7, 2003. June 8-June 13, 2003. June 14-June 21, 2003. June 22-July 1, 2003. July 2-July 13, 2003. July 14-July 20, 2003. July 21-July 26, 2003. July 27-August 4, 2003. August 5-August 9, 2003. August 10-August 16, 2003. August 17-August 23, 2003. August 24-August 30, 2003. August 31-September 6, 2003. September 7-September 13, 2003. September 14-September 20, 2003. September 21-September 29, 2003. September 30-October 4, 2003. October 5-October 11, 2003. October 12-October 19, 2003. October 20-October 26, 2003. October 27-November 1, 2003. November 2-November 16, 2003. November 17-December 3, 2003. December 4-December 12, 2003. December 13-December 20, 2003. December 21-December 27, 2003. December 28, 2003-January 3, 2004. January 4-January 11, 2004. January 12-January 17, 2004. January 18-January 24, 2004. January 25-January 31, 2004. February 1-February 8, 2004. February 9-February 14, 2004. February 15-February 24, 2004. February 25-February 29, 2004. March 1-March 7, 2004. March 8-March 25, 2004. March 26-April 7, 2004. April 8-April 17, 2004. April 18-April 24, 2004. April 25-May 3, 2004. May 4-May 10, 2004. May 11-May 15, 2004. May 16-May 25, 2004. May 26-June 7, 2004. June 8-June 12, 2004. June 13-June 19, 2004. June 20-June 26, 2004. June 27-July 7, 2004. July 8-July 20, 2004. July 21-July 31, 2004. August 1-August 6, 2004. August 7-August 28, 2004. August 29-September 6, 2004. September 7-September 19, 2004. September 20-October 1, 2004. October 2-October 16, 2004. October 17-November 3, 2004. November 4-November 13, 2004. November 14-November 27, 2004. November 28-December 15, 2004. December 16-December 22, 2004. December 23, 2004-January 8, 2005. January 9-January 23, 2005. January 24, February 3, 2005! February 4-February 29, 2005. March 1-April 16-2005. April 17-April 24, 2005. April 25-May 6, 2005. May 7-May 26, 2005. May 27-June 7, 2005. June 8-June 19, 2005. June 20-July 1, 2005. July 2-July 23, 2005. July 24-July 30, 2005. July 31-August 26, 2005. August 27-September 13, 2005. September 14-October 11, 2005. October 12-November 13, 2005. November 14-December 7, 2005.