Willie's Off-Brand Web Journal: February 15-February 24, 2004

Thursday, February 19, 2004:

I awoke in the middle of the night to a loud "PWANNNGG!" noise. It continued to reverberate for a few seconds after I was awake, so I was sure I hadn't dreamed it. Because I was still kind of in a dream state, my first thought was that the noise had originated from my ocean machine/alarm clock, and it was a signal that the machine was about to start broadcasting frightening propaganda from Chinese dissidents.

This morning, I discovered that one of my guitar strings had snapped in the middle of the night. That doesn't really have anything to do with my possessed alarm clock, but I hope you see my point.

CURRENT MUSIC: Succumb by The Virgin-Whore Complex.
CURRENT MOOD: Unloved, unloving, unlovable.
CAN YOU SEE THE MUSIC? You can with Rock Art Cups, yeah.
TIME: 1:50 PM.

Doot? | |

Wednesday, February 18, 2004:

I went out to dinner at East Side Mario's with my mom, my brother, and four of my brother's friends from U of M: Julie, Brandon, Trevor, and LeAnn. Much of the conversation revolved around my brother's roommate, Matt, who's dating LeAnn's roommate, Adrea. Apparently, nobody much likes Adrea. For her part, Adrea has said that she hates Brandon and she wants to throw my brother off a balcony.

Tim (my brother) told us that Matt and Adrea broke up for 27 hours between Monday night and this morning. Evidently, Matt wanted to cut Adrea's brownie for her, and she wanted to cut her own brownie. (An actual, edible brownie; that's not a metaphor for anal sex or anything.) Naturally, that disagreement blew up into a relationship-dissolving screaming war between the two of them. Tim told me that he was in his room for most of it, but at one point, Matt yelled, "You know, we wouldn't fight so much if you just wouldn't talk!" and he got a hearty slap in the face.

"You know, the 27 hours they were broken up was the only time this year I've gotten some peace and quiet," Tim commented.

"Yeah," LeAnn responded, "and Adrea was actually nice to me for 27 hours and some change! How weird is that? But then they got back together: 'I'm sorry, Boos!'"

At this point, Tim and all his friends burst out laughing, and he told LeAnn to tell my mom and me "The Boos story."

LeAnn told us that Adrea and Matt always refer to one another with the pet name "Boos," which is pronounced like "booze." And no one in their group of friends could figure out where "Boos" came from; they figured it was just some odd play on the ghetto slang term "boo." (You know, as in the Jenny Jones show topic "Reunite Me with My Old Boo and I'll Show Him the Sexy Job I Do!") So one day, LeAnn casually brought up the topic with Adrea, and asked where the nickname came from, and Adrea replied, "Oh, I call Matt 'Boos' because he doesn't like when I call him 'Boo-Boo Bear' in public."

So Tim and his friends thought that was hilarious, and have been referring to Matt as "Triple B" ever since that little revelation came out.

Also, Matt has three Terminator posters in his bedroom, but Adrea makes him cover them with bedsheets when she's over because they scare her.

Yes, I'm aware that it's really not tremendously entertaining to read third-hand roommate stories, but unless you want to read a screed about my futile search for the new Lambchop albums or my rekindled obsession with Survivor, that's what today's entry is going to have to be. And for those of you who haven't yet seen it, here's the scariest cat in the world:

CURRENT MUSIC: Rembrandt Pussyhorse by the Butthole Surfers.
CURRENT MOOD: Bilious.
CURRENT REASON TELEVISION WAS INVENTED: Erica's Tyme. Those of you who don't get Oakland County public access channels on your cable or satellite system are totally missing out. I stumbled upon this show last night, and it's the single most bizarre thing I've ever seen. I can't even begin to describe its captivating madness, but last night's episode presented three people standing in someone's living room, reading fake radio show dialogue... about "chic librarians"... directly from the pages of a script that they'd obviously never seen before... intermittently interrupted by lip-synched songs played from an off-camera stereo. I taped it when it was re-run this morning, and if you're a person with whom I have frequent contact in real life, you must remind me to show it to you.
TIME: 8:23 PM.

Doot? | |

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