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Suggested Sports Team Names

Awhile ago, Willie and Jenny were laughing at the Minnesota Wild- not just because of their obvious inferiority to the Red Wings, but because they have the stupidest team name in professional sports. The NFL, NHL, NBA, and MLB have no problems when it comes to creating new expansion teams for their respective leagues, but they seem to be thoroughly unable to come up with team names that not only reflect some aspect of the city in which each particular team resides, but also don't sound dumb. In a way, it's like naming streets in a new subdivision- it might seem trivial, but no one wants to live on a street named "Crapo" (an actual street in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan) any more than they want to play for the Minnesota Wild. So in the interest of saving professional sports any additional humiliation after Dennis Miller's Monday Night Football gig and Darryl Strawberry's Crack-O-Rama, we present eleven team names that can be used by any major sports league wishing to install a new team in any of the following cities:

1. The Manhattan Bad Moons

2. The Portland Charlatans

3. The Los Angeles Ruffians

4. Da Des Moines Da Brats

5. The Nashville Riboflavin

6. The Austin Nads

7. The Pittsburgh Filibusters

8. The Boston Irony

9. The Atlanta Food & Spirits

10. The Georgia Goo

11. The Sandusky "Things"

READER COMMENTS:

verb1999@hotmail.com writes: I see how much you dispise the Minnesota Wild. It has to go much deeper than the name though, which you must admit, is more intimidating than anything. It not only describes our state, but it describes our mentality, our players and most of all, it describes our fans. Not to mention our wild winning record last season. How do you like them apples? Dick.


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